I’ve a car, a 1997 Carina something or other. It’s the family car i.e. we have only one which I don’t have enough money to maintain correctly or change. We are wholly and utterly dependant on it. I have no affection for the car and when something goes wrong, I hate it more then I hate myself for not having the wherewithal to fix it. 

Last winter, she started to overheat ( funny how things are gender labelled ), no money available so I filled the radiator with water and continued to fill it through winter, spring and up to last month, when eventually I  came into a couple of bob and went to see Pat. 

Gammy radiator he pronounced and I acted suitable shocked, asked how much and offered it all up for the holy souls . Car fixed, drove home, unburdened of guilt for having driven it for so long with a gammy radiator, and the fucking thing explodes into the red zone . Emergency stop, panic, guilt, phone garage, Pat gone home, phone wife blabbering, wait for in-law, arrives with water, drive home .

Back to Pat.

Gammy radiator , fair nuff says I, shit happens.  Drive home, drive to work, freak out in the red zone somewhere totally inaccessible. Phone, blabber, panic, guilt .

Back to Pat.

Dodgy radiator , Not gammy Pat, says I. No dodgy. Drive home, avoid collisions, can’t take eyes from temperature gauge, car home, safe. And for the next couple of days Karma restored, car becomes friend and beneficial tool to mankind, happiness breaks out and I consider locating smells and cleaning the shite out of it, got drunk .

Next day, Vesuvius erupts at 80 mph, turn engine off, pull in, cry, phone , water, more phone, chock ice, cigarette. Fuck it.

Hi Pat, nice here in’ it. Gammy Radiator Pat ? Dodgy Radiator maybe ?

No Sniffle , it’s the water pump.

Meditate, calm, more chic ice and cigarettes .

3 responses to “Cars

  1. Thanks Bock. More to do with the car then the mechanic.
    I feel I should offer you a cup of tea and a biscuit, you being the first visitor and all.

  2. Hmm. I was like that a year or more ago. Nobody reads this fucking shit. What the fuck will I do? Where’s my chainsaw? I’m off to the shopping centre.

    Stick with it. Do disgraceful link-whoring. All will be ok.

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