Free style Hip Hop artiste formally known as daughter

 Don’t you just want your thirteen year old daughter to say ” OK Dad, I understand what you’re saying and whereas I disagree in principle, I respect your views “, don’t cha? And don’t cha think your compliant daughter looks good with me, or can’t you see that’s its compliant me that looks shit with my daughter. The generation game arrived screaming like a bat of a hell into our oasis of calm, and things will never be the same again. 

I’ve been holding out you see. Yeah, hoping that our musical interests might continue to overlap, that she might still  see my quirkiness as something different but nice to have, that we might walk across the fucking road together, that she might like to be seen in public with me once a year. But no, no fucking way and last night’s rant when I explained that she is mistaking me for some other sad sack of shit father from one her coven of friends, well the rant fell on deaf ears and I’m consigned to a drooling slobbering oblivion, until I’m rolled out on her wedding day to say something moderately interesting, but ultimately embarrassing. 

It’s not’s going to work Sniffle. It needs a different context Sniffle. She needs her space Sniffle. Get fucking real Sniffle and figure out that you’re dead in her eyes, or might as well be,  that you’re and impediment to her assault on womanhood. You’re a nasty resource provider to be tolerated and tapped regularly and then hidden away under the stairs. No level exists where you can communicate meaningfully. The gap between the free style Hip Hop artiste formally known as daughter and sad sack of shit you, cannot and will not be breached.

So, Sniffle, the relationship is dead RIP, but call back in five years time and we might have something meaningful to say to you, but for the moment fuck off lively.    

6 responses to “Free style Hip Hop artiste formally known as daughter

  1. I’d say there’s something to look forward to only my first born is but eight and a half and she’s already limbering up for precisely this hurdle.

    Just keep forking out the cash, Sniffle.

  2. Thanks Gimme, this has been wrecking my head for a couple of months now, and I’m loosing friends by the new time cause I’m bleating on about her and me so much. But it’s a nature thing and very demanding, and tests my patience to the limit. I’m like your man in Dad’s Army, shitting himself but shouting loudly ” Don’t panic ” !

  3. thegreatzucchini

    In a future existence or lifespan (Well about four years or so, I’m in the same floating vessel as gimmeaminute ) I’ll remember these kind words, If I haven’t managed to come up with some sort of a hypnotic technique or “Likeme” spell or summat else that I can use to combat the problem before then.

  4. Thanks Great Zucchini,

    Come in, sit down and lay down your sorcerer’s wand. Hypnotic techniques and Likeme spells help, help us to “muddle” through which is the prevailing wisdom coming from the oracles. “You’ve five years ahead of you”, “It gets worse “, and you “muddle through it “

    I’d take a likeme spell any day.

  5. Oo, I wish I had some advice or comfort.

    I think it might be less than 5 years, if you just keep your head down.

    13 sucks. 15 is better.

    What would I have liked? Dinner? Cinema? It’s hard to say, my father was self absorbed and irritable and nasty and hysterical, so I have no balanced view, it was dangerous to be friends with him as you never knew what shit would come next. I know he felt betrayed and abandoned and rejected and terribly sad and resentful. That didn’t make me like him any more though. Just keep being the grown up. That’s your job. And it’s probably ok to say no about the money if she’s being rude and surly.

  6. Thanks Jo,

    Pity about your Da, parents are everything to children for a long while and when you carry that stuff around it affects the whole family. Reading your blog though, it sounds like the sins of the father won’t be vested down.
    It was last October when I posted that and it’s been a real roller coaster of a year both for her and for us. She’s had the mother and father of a first year in secondary and my heart goes out to her. You name it and she’s pushed up against it in some way. We love her to bits and the two of us give it our best shot with the parenting thing. But is can be so frustrating and infuriating betimes.

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