A conspiracy of bloggers

Okay, when there’s more then one blogger present, the collective adjective is? Anyone?  A conspiracy folks, a murder of bloggers maybe, but conspiracy works for me. And if you’re asked to be there @ 9, be there on time cause when I arrived later, all the drugs were gone and I passed some tired hookers on my way into Flas. Security was just about coping with a swelling crowd, and the foundations were shaking from the satanic hell being pumped out from the Blogger’s Banquet.

More Led Zeppelin then laissez faire, Darwin stood centre stage, in that arrogant centre-stage standing way, all lycra and cling film, mascara running into the chicken dribblings on his chin. (he had ripped off its head with bared teeth). Bock was transcendent cause I like the word, and it suited his Ian Curtisness. Techno control freak, the keyboards and chanting were his, and the crowd were lamped rabbits from his demonic stare. Axe in one hand, guitar in the other, Dan held a bottle of Tequila with his third hand and screamed at everyone, screamed at everything. 

Baileys on Ice, Sniffle? 

Yes Pat (the barman) and a package of salted peanuts, please. It was gona be that type of evening.   

And after the ninth encore (that’s a Bock number folks 9), well after the encore, and the groupies and the cocaine, we fell into chill out.

You taking the minutes Sniffle?

Bolox, I suppose it is my turn.

Right so, who’s first? 

Darwin    How many piercings can an average man have on his genetilia?

Bock      Average, piercings? Testicles, how many testicles Darwin?

Darwin    Standard two.

Sniffle    180 (Sniffle can be a right fucking Monica sometimes)

Darwin   Excellent and this particular individual with the penis and the piercings, what happened next? 

Sniffle    Tattoos? Puppetry of the penis maybe?

Darwin    Well here’s the thing lads; he wanted a second penis, a second source of amusement. So they cut it down the middle, re-did the plumbing, stitched it back together, except now in two pieces, and hey-presto, twin peni (that’s plural for penis)

Bock    Can we go back to the Polish hot chick story now? 

  

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4 responses to “A conspiracy of bloggers

  1. That’s not exactly how I remember it. But we did have a few drinks on us, that much I’ll admit. And there was something about a guy with a double-mickey.

  2. Conspiracy sounds good to me; I like crows too much to steal murder from them, but I’m also taken with “a torture of bloggers”.

  3. A blugdgeon of bloggers. A lamentation? A belching?

    I do like The Bloggers’ Banquet – yessiree.

  4. Sorry Darwin, sure you were down the back at the orgy. Apologies how did that go? Saw a couple of nice looking and somehow sated horses leaving late on.

    Hi Eolai, terribly sorry, can’t do the fada on this effin thing. Howsitgoin and you’re welcome, I’d offer tea and a biscuit except Sam gets in a huff. Yes torture works for me and on me too funnily enough.

    Howrtings Sam, how’s that insomnia? Total fucker, drink more and use drugs. Love the lamentation I do, but I’ve always been that way, ask my missus. Oh and a belching of bloggers, yes, the foulness of the air, the rankness, the putridity (I’m baggsing that one)

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